ME

I haven’t been posting much, but I’m logged in everyday checking all these beautiful blogs I have on my list of favourites.

I think about my blog and I ask myself lots of questions about it – why should I continue posting? What should I write about? Should I do it just for myself or for others? And if for others then is there anything interesting about my life to write about? And while I ask these questions I know the answers.

It’s a human condition

to analyse, to doubt, to fear,

but I should trust and believe

because

I could have been anyone but I chose to be ME for a reason.

So the most important thing I should do is to trust myself.

and ME says continue

I am a big lover of old photographs.
the short stories of my childhood.
I don't remember much from that day,
just that i really wanted to hold the cat in my arms while the pictures was taken.
I was chasing the poor animal the whole day.

I wonder :
What was going through my grandma's mind?
Why my brother looks so spaced out - was he placed on the stairs and handed the dog to hold while the photo was taken?
...and who was the photographer? my mom, my father?
What did we do before and after the picture was taken, its a mystery to me.
But at least one second of that day was captured.
That photograph has more than just one story.

When I stay still for too long I get the longing for adventure, for unknown, open spaces. I tend to go through my holiday pictures;
I dive into the amazing past filled with nature, smell of ocean, midnight sky full of stars and the most amazing wild beach I have ever seen and... the silence.
All this is love and I miss it.

"Within every photograph there is also the beginning of a story starting - Once upon a time..."
Wim Wenders

I was going through my photographs and found this one.
It was taken on the 14th December 4 years ago in South Africa - I don't remember the name of the place , I just remember that the day was beautiful and hot, and I remember the amazing dinner we had.
It was mom's Delene 60th birthday.
She was so happy to have us all around.
She danced to the music of the wind and laughed with open heart.
She was chasing the waves and playing with the seaweed.
I was watching her from the distance and I could swear I saw 17years old girl.
It was magical.

South African trip

Cederberg mountains

I have been wondering lately, but particularly strongly today what my life is about and why I feel so lost lately. That feeling comes and goes – goes away when I get busy with the usual daily duties and comes back when I’m quiet. This horrible pressure of achieving something and being someone – the must! must! must! makes me unhappy, tired and uninspired.

And than I read:

“If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe. What looks like weakness to the ego is in fact the only true strength. This spiritual truth is diametrically opposed to the values of our contemporary culture and the way it conditions people to behave.”

SA

So finally we are in South Africa
Sunny South Africa
How wonderful is to wake up every morning to blue blue sky and hot hot sun.
The first week was filled with love.
Martin and Frances got married - what a wonderful wedding!
so much love, joy and happiness.
Tomorrow we are going to Cederberg Mountains - one of my favourite places
Tranquility
No internet
No TV
No mobiles
Just nature
Amazing place.